It will be a strange article, but believe me, it might just change your life. Yes, that is essentially what we coaches and mentors do, change lives. For good and for better.
I have often asked myself what is the main reason people do not train, are not physically active and in the end of the day, do not take care of themselves. You see examples of self-destructing behaviour every day and it hurts the most when it is a relative of yours, a sibling, a parent or a loved one.
In my practice I have heard a lot of excuses that are presented as unavoidable obstacles, a mountain impossible to climb and a river impossible to cross. The most common on is lack of time. OK, I get it, you have a busy life and plenty of responsibilities.
Or you think this way.
No matter the substance or the type of the obstacle, there is a clear pattern of human behaviour and in my experience this is the culprit. May be it is the history of our civilisation or how we were raised in a consumer-oriented society, but it all comes down to this:
“I need to HAVE certain thing in order to DO certain thing that will allow me to BE the person I want to be”
That is the logic, possession comes first and if certain thing / object / skill / money / whatever is not not available or given to us, the process cannot start and the mountain cannot be climbed. And people put all their efforts in the beginning of this chain of events, the acquisition of the thing.
HAVE … -> DO … -> BE
So people never find time for a workout or never spare the money to buy training shoes and gym membership because if those are missing, the process never starts. On top of that, lets admit to ourselves, we are masters at finding excuses and elaborating arguments why something is simply impossible.
But for something to change, something has to change
And the thing to change is the pattern from above. It is very easy and you should try it with something small to see how easy it is. The best way to convert the vicious circle (that starts with an obstacle) into a spiral of self-igniting improvements where each one is catalysing the next one, a bigger one, is to re-order your planning and put an action first.
“I need to DO certain thing in order to BE the person I want to be that will allow me to HAVE the things I want to”
DO … -> BE … -> HAVE
When you re-arrange the sequence, instead of obstacles you start seeing solutions.
And that is how the following scenario:
“I need more time and I have no time to go to the gym, so I now need to work harder and get a promotion and then have free time and then I will start going to the gym”
all of a sudden will turn into
“I will wake up 15 min early and do a home exercises routine that will boost my energy, which will make me work faster and be more efficient and this time I will finish on time and be back home on time and have an hour with my family”
HAVE … -> DO … -> BE
DO … -> BE … -> HAVE
If I am to continue that, the increased effectiveness (believe me, physical activity does make you smarter, faster and more clever) will lead to that promotion or a new position in another company and it is the beginning of a new cycle of events, that start with doing. Then becoming. Then having. And then again.
Small steps. The result-oriented goal may look good in a corporate presentation and should be left for business purposes only.
Small steps. Process-oriented goals drive actions and focus on activity. Because your life is a project. A mountain to climb. And when you reach the river, you will not need a bridge to cross it, but muscles to swim across.
Or stay on this side and complain it is impossible to cross because you need to have cement to build a bridge.
Your choice.
